I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
