It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
