Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
