is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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