I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
vagina is talking i cant
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
