I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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