ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
