I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
