I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
