I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
