This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Come on in and take your pants off
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