After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
