i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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