She is in my trunk
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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