Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
