i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
