wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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