so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
