We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
