I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
