And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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