my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
