I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
