We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
