i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
