No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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