weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
