I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
