You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think I died a long time ago.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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