dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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