tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
