YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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