after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
