I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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