how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
