I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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