Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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