I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
