My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
