Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
