I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
