She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
