dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
