Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
