i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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