ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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