No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
