Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
