I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
