he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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