At least make sure they are 18
Why
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
