I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
