The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
